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Noticeable wear to cover and pages. May have some markings on the inside. Fast shipping. Will be shipped from US. Used books may not include companion materials.
- Sales Rank: #1849527 in Books
- Published on: 2007-02-17
- Binding: Paperback
Most helpful customer reviews
135 of 139 people found the following review helpful.
A Great Book which will change your child's life for the better
By Gavin Bollard
This is quite an unusual book. It's not a practical guide to handling day to day issues with Autism, nor is it a dry clinical description of Autism. It's essentially a book promoting a new paradigm, (a whole new outlook) on Autism. It provides you with an understanding of some key positive concepts and then goes on to show how they can be put into practical use on a daily basis.
I feel that this book could be better described with the considerably less catchy title of; Ten concepts which your future happy and successful grown up child with autism needs you to know, understand, believe and "live" now - in order to ensure that the time line works out for the best.
Make no mistake, these aren't ten baby concepts which will only hold true for a small part of your child's life. They're adult ones, mantras for living - and they apply forever.
The book starts with a list of the 10 things which I'll list below because there are no surprises here.
1. I am a whole child.
2. My senses are out of sync
3. Distinguish between won't and can't
4. I am a concrete thinker, I interpret language literally
5. Listen to all the ways I'm trying to communicate
6. Picture this! I am visually orientated
7. Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do
8. Help me with social interactions
9. Identify what triggers my meltdowns
10. Love me unconditionally.
You'll notice that every one of these ten things is open-ended. Each topic contains a lot of important discussion material. I won't say that I agreed 100% with everything but the later chapters put all of my minor niggles to rest. Ellen makes it clear at the beginning of the book that all children are different and that not everything here will apply to every child.
This book spends quite a bit of time discussing the "language of autism" as it used by parents, media and support personnel. It makes it very clear that the way in which we express, embrace and encourage our children has monumental impact both on their self esteem and their future success. Often we use negative language without realising it and the book provides some handy hints on how to detect and remove these negative words from our daily interactions.
If you've ever used a phrase like "my child suffers from autism", then you really need to read this book. Similarly, if you've said; "my child will never do that".
The subject of the book is Ellen's son Bryce and by reading between the lines, you can follow his journey from a child seen as a PIA (Potentially Independent Adult) to a fully functional, self-supporting adult.
There are some wonderful "bonus chapters" in the book including; "Ten things I want my high school senior with Autism to know" and a great chapter called Evolution which really presses home the problems of limiting language. Finally, the book ends with some discussion questions which are really worth thinking about.
If it all sounds really technical, don't worry, it's not. In fact, it's quite an easy read at just under 200 pages and a really easy-going font but it's a book that will get you thinking and it's a book that could change your life. It probably should be required reading for all parents of children on the spectrum.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
I particularly loved the chapters on understanding meltdowns and "can't" vs
By Cari Noga
I particularly loved the chapters on understanding meltdowns and "can't" vs. "won't" as behavioral causes and got this book from the library for my mother (ASD son's grandma) to read. She then ordered her own copy. I think this book has helped him gain another ally. It requires some faith to use these techniques, and I don't know that I would use them exclusively, but it's an excellent Autism 101, especially good to suggest to family/friends/teachers who don't live with it 24-7.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Changed My Outlook and Helped Me Heal
By The Yellow House
I feel this is an excellent primer for those new to autism, especially those who are still struggling to understand if the behavior they see is identifiable. Our 5-year old son has recently been diagnosed with high-functioning autism, and I bought this book not only for myself, but for his grandparents. His grandmother read the book before coming to stay with my husband for a week while I was out of town, and it helped her immensely. It helps to give you a sense of empathy rather than just frustration when your child acts they way they do; consequently changing how you react to it (I'm much better able to be patient now that I understand that he is struggling to work his way through situations just as hard as I am). While I learned a significant amount of important basics, just as important is that I walked away with a sense of hope, which was incredibly healing for me as I emotionally wrestled with my feelings after the diagnosis. The author shares her experience with her own son, the highs and the lows; and later editions have epilogues in the back with updates on her child who is now a functional, happy, independent adult. While this does not mean that every child will turn out as well-adjusted, at least you feel as though it might actually be possible, instead of being consumed with nightmare scenarios of them as an adult.
Another important component in the book is her careful analysis of the language we use to describe people with autism and how much damage it can (and does) do - not only to the psyche of the adult, but also the child, and the world at large (this is such a stigmatized condition, which was part of my struggle when I heard the news - I thought I knew what autism was. I did not). Phrases such as "suffer from autism" for example, are unhelpful and give the wrong impression about a child's daily existence. As another reviewer (who has autism) touches on, even high profile, helpful advocate organizations such as Autism Speaks infer that there is something "lesser-than" about those with autism, by referring to "finding the missing piece of the puzzle" (which is also illustrated in their logo). From this book I realized my son is not missing any pieces, he is just a more complicated puzzle to fit together (and all children are puzzles in their own way, really). While it is true, as several other reviewers have mentioned, there are not many specific strategies other than making you aware of what's going on in an autistic child's brain and how they perceive the world, I don't think this book is meant for that. It is a personalized viewpoint from a mother who has worked her way through this with her own child, and the things she learned that can apply to your child (and you) as well. *Specific* strategies come from therapy, as every child is different, and will need slightly different guidance and help. There's no "one-size-fits-all" remedy (although if you are looking for some basic strategies as well as ideas for how to help your child on an on-going, daily basis, I am finding "1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Asperger's and Autism" to be helpful).
This book literally changed my way of thinking about the future and about my son, and as a mom staring down a new, uncertain, long and winding road, I am very, very grateful.
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